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Beloved Blog


fearfully and wonderfully made

Dear blog.....

It's been a while. Sorry about that.

 

Just to update you on things - 

We are finished with Beloved courses for this school year. This term will be spent looking over the course and revising some of the material. We are also looking at how to take the course to churches. 

The other thing that happened is that I got engaged (!) so that may be mentioned a few times over the next year! Thinking about weddings and dresses and pretty things is great fun but it has been interesting to see how it can also challenge your confidence and sense of identity. More thoughts about that to come probably!

Born This Way

I love Lady Gaga's song 'Born this Way' -

'I'm beautiful in my way coz God makes no mistakes'

 

Be sure to check out next Monday's Glee which is a whole episode based on the song. Each character struggles to deal with certain aspects of themselves. 

Beloved final update

Sorry for the long delay in updating, but we have now come to the end of Beloved. There is a lot I could write about but the first thing I want to show you is the pegs at the end of our last session together:

Photo


That is every peg at the positive end!

I have also been struck by how important this little community has become. One girl, who had some social skill problems to begin with, has become a core member of the group and settled into some new friendships and visibly become more comfortable around the others throughout the weeks. She was very sad to have the group ending.

We finished by writing letters to our future selves about all the things we've talked about. Another girl made it clear that things we'd discussed had made a real difference to how she views herself. 

The challenge for us is where we go next - how do we follow this up. We are talking with the school about what we could do.

There are no Beloved courses planned for next term - we will be taking time to continue developing the material and exploring more options on expanding the work. But this blog will continue to be updated with thoughts, ideas and news so please stick with it!

Writing out my future

Today I met with a young girl who told me that she's written a book in the style of her future biography. Basically, she's written a story of how she hopes her life will turn out and all the things she will a achieve. What a brilliant thing to do. Will definitely be using that idea in the future!

Beloved @ Thurstable School

The past two weeks of Beloved we have looked at 'Character' and then this week was 'Confidence'. 

We wanted to affirm their individuality last week - let them know it's ok to be themselves. There were a lot of laughs as we discovered each other's quirks and passions. It was great to assure them that it's ok to be different. One way we did this was having both myself and Kathryn explain the many ways me and her are different - from the things we enjoy doing to what gives us energy (being around people/being by ourselves) etc. I would have loved someone to have told me when I was 15 that the things I enjoyed doing were ok!

This week it was all about the confidence (to quote Mr Gok Wan!). We looked at things that help us feel confident and things that can take confidence away. Then we explained the danger of confidence being just a 'feeling' - because it can change so easily. Instead, we explored the idea that confidence must be something solid and deep within us that stays strong even on our rubbish days. 

And so, we made confidence boxes! Inside the boxes they write things that are positive in their life - the point being that no one can see from the outside, but they know that it's all there inside. The girls loved the activity and really connected with what it represented, writing down positive things about themselves and people in their lives that are important to them.

Highlight of the session: one girl asking if she could write our names in her confidence box

Beloved Update

I'm really excited with what we are seeing in this Beloved course already. One activity we have been doing is asking everyone to use a peg with their name on, placed on a piece of ribbon, to indicate how confident they are feeling that day. The higher up the ribbon, the more confident you are feeling. I have included two photos. The first one taken the beginning of the first session, the second taken the end of the second session. A picture paints a thousand words.

 

Photo 1

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Photo 2

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We also did one of my favourite activities we've ever done - getting the girls to identify themselves as 'beautiful' by defining beauty in all the ways the word can be applied. This includes skills, talents, characteristics as well as our bodies. By the end of the session each girl had written down at least 2 reasons why they are beautiful - amazing!

 

Beloved @ Thurstable: Session 1

As we have been preparing this course, three key words for us have been 'peace', 'relationship' and 'experience'. We want this course to be an overrall experience for them, not just two people talking at them for 6 weeks. For example, we have brought in some regular activities that will see the girls map their development over the course. We are also looking at ways to decorate the room and engage with the space we have- the school are allowing us to keep things up on the walls if we want to. Peace comes from our desire for the hour we get each week to be one of calm and relaxation but also for myself and Kathryn to be carriers of peace - for us to be living out what we're teaching, and to always be working out of a healthy and positive place. Finally, this course is about relationships. We could do the best material possible but it wouldn't matter without their trust in us.

So our first session was really just an introduction. We have 8 girls with us, and are going to be joined by their year group's pastoral support. All the girls are talkative and engaging, with a discussion about the stereotypes girls face being positive, challenging and productive. 

A heartbreaking moment was hearing one girl announce that she 'looks like she's been dragged through a bush backwards' and that she'll 'always look that way'. Who is it that tells these girls these things? It is a humbling position to be in: to stand there and say 'that's not true'. 

 

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